Saturday, March 31, 2018

Faith Is Blind


Hey mom,

As you know my new companion is Elder Antunes. This is his last transfer so he isn’t super motivated to work. We spend a lot of time ´´chilling´´ so I have had a lot of time to exercise and to study. My pants are fitting a little bit better.  I am trying to stay healthy. I don’t know if Elder Antunes hates me or likes me. He´s really hot and cold and really, really impatient with my language struggles.  When I have to ask him to repeat things a few times he gets really grumpy. He is also impatient with investigators. There are still things I am learning from him.  He’s giving me more responsibility because he doesn’t want to do much. Another thing that’s been tough with Antunes is he really likes to listen to music, American music. I already asked him to stop.  There is no way he will stop so after that, I at the least asked him to use headphones so I don’t have to listen to it, but he only uses headphones half the time. I have found that music is the FASTEST way to make me homesick. It made this week really tough. The music brought back lots of memories and longings for home. Today I am hoping to spend a little extra time on the computer to download a bunch of church music and piano guys music that I hope to use to drowned out the music my companion listens to. Hopefully I can leave this transfer a better missionary. Antunes has a goal to baptize every week during his last transfer. We had a baptism this last week and have another marked for conference weekend.

I am excited for conference but also nervous because it’s all going to be in Portuguese.  I won’t have it in English like in the CTM. I know I am gonna miss a lot of the messages. General Conference was a super spiritual experience in the CTM, but I am worried I am not gonna get much out of it because I won’t understand so much. We´ll see.

This week the power company or something in the government was under investigation and power to the entire state of Paraíba was off for about 10 hours. We had a lesson with an investigator (Maria Nilta and her 2 daughters) that night. We taught the restoration by candlelight. Elder Antunes was really impatient with them because they haven’t accepted baptism yet, and he didn’t want to teach the lesson so I taught the whole restoration. I gave him time to talk but he wouldn’t say anything and during the lesson he was huffing and puffing and sighing, totally distracting from the message. I got really frustrated. In the end the spirit was there and he shared his testimony. It was a powerful experience. I hope to baptize this family during this transfer.

I had another funny language experience. One night this week we ordered pizza to be delivered.  While we were waiting for the delivery Antunes went to take a shower. While he was in the shower, the pizza guy called to confirm the address.  It was a disaster because I couldn’t understand what he was saying and I don’t know our address or how to describe where we live in the area, so I just ran out into the street (almost forgot to put on a shirt) and yelled a lot as the pizza guy was passing by. I think for people watching it was pretty funny. The pizza was great so it was worth it.

I am trying to get a video that a recent convert took of me on his phone, but they have problems sending videos here. I don’t know if the cellphone companies don’t support it or what, but hopefully this next week I will have it. The uncle of this young man trains dogs, and so we put on an arm brace thing and the uncle loosed a German shepherd that ´´attacked´´ us (is trained to bite on the arm brace). It was really cool.



That was my week this week. I heard about Chad, man I thought I had it tough! He is a trooper. I will keep him in my prayers.

I have been thinking a lot about the atonement and Jesus Christ. With the extra study time I have, I have started reading Jesus the Christ again. I am trying to understand better the Savior as a person and someone I can really learn to relate to and love. I know that my faith needs to be based on Him. This last week I did personal study on faith as an attribute of Christ and it was edifying. I didn’t have a very good understanding of faith. I was thinking that because I hadn’t felt the spirit really strong or had big spiritual experiences, I didn’t have faith. But now I know that when we feel the spirit or have spiritual experiences, this is when faith turns into knowledge. Faith really is BLIND. It’s the actions we take, the things we do, WITHOUT a strong confirmation of the spirit or spiritual experiences. Its acting, with hope and confidence, that through our actions we WILL receive the influence of the spirit and have those spiritual experiences (when that faith, becomes a knowledge). I know that faith in Jesus Christ is very important so I am working to improve my ´´why´´ (the reasons I act and do the things I do) so I can have confidence and hope.  I hope that through my actions I will receive those spiritual experiences and gain a knowledge of Jesus as my Savior, that my mission is exactly where I need to be, etc.

Love you guys,
Elder Sork

Monday, March 19, 2018

More Responsibilities


Hey Mom, 

Transfers were today. I am staying with Elder Antunes. This is his last transfer and then he goes home. He´s pretty tired and really getting ´´trunky´´ so I don't know what is really gonna happen this transfer. He´s getting really grumpy too. I have a feeling that both my patience and his will be tested. Elder Antunes is a cool guy but our personalities don't match up. 

This week we had interviews with the President and a division (missionary split). My companion needed to do an interview in another area so I needed to stay and work our area with another companion. I was SO nervous.  I've only been here for a week and Elder Antunes left me in the area with a day full of commitments and lessons. I barely know how to arrive at our house let alone to find the houses of our investigators. I had to find the houses, lead the discussions, etc. I was praying so hard in my heart as we walked to the other area to start the division. I can't describe to you how scared I was, but it turned out okay. The lessons were not great, but I got us to the house and led them so that's a win. The only problem I had was at the end of the day. I had no idea how to get back to the house. We wandered for about an hour and eventually called to get directions to the church. 

Elder Antunes says that he doesn't want to do a lot during the last transfer, so I will have ´´responsibilities.´´ The first responsibility that he gave me was the baptismal fichas.  Those are the baptismal forms. I am to fill them out, keep them safe and then send them to the mission office. That  next night I forgot my bag with my scriptures and the fichas in a restaurant and lost our fichas. So I failed my first responsibility, woohoo! The second responsibility Elder Antunes has given me is the cell phone. I am to make and receive all the calls. The cell phone is my first enemy. Portuguese and Portuguese on a cellphone, are two different languages. The first day I had the phone I called to confirm to our investigators that we were passing by their house at 3:45 with a ride to the church. We showed up at their house and they were surprised to see us because they thought we were passing by at 6:45... second responsibility, failed!! That has kinda been the theme of my week. I am hoping that this transfer things can get better. President Dias just said in my interview with him this week to keep going, that with time things will get better - the same thing he told me the last time. ´´Time´´. I just feel like I need an ETERNITY - not to be perfect,but just to figure out how to be a missionary! 

This week I learned how to make pancakes from scratch with a Brazilian and shared some maple with them, they really liked it. I will finish the Book of Mormon in Portuguese tonight for the first time. I have never received a big answer that the book is true, but it is a source of comfort to me when I read when I am stressed or overwhelmed I find peace. I really hope that I am not ´´missing´´ answers, because I REALLY want them and am really hoping for them. 

I love you, Mom. I hope Grandma gets better quick.  Give her some love for me.

Elder Sork


Monday, March 12, 2018

Mission Upheaval Part II


Hey Mom,

We had a baptism this week but I didn’t have my camera with me. iIt was kind of a freebee for me because this is my new area and I didn’t really do a lot of the work. I just showed up, but the investigator wanted me to baptize him so that was cool. His name is Emmanuel and he is 16 years old. This new ward has a great youth program and the youth have really good retention with our new members.  This is rare in this mission.

After all the transfers last week, we had a zone conference where President Dias spoke about several changes that needed to happen in the mission. I got transferred because 10 missionaries got sent home early.  Many companionships and missionaries had to get moved around to make sure everything was covered. I think our president is finally realizing just how messed up the mission is.  He did some ´´spring cleaning´´ and 10 missionaries were doing things so bad they got sent home, lots of other missionaries are on probation and have warnings that they could be sent home. They are really cracking down on mission rules and also how we handle our investigators. Now people need to attend sacrament meeting 3 times before they are to be baptized, along with lots of other new rules. We´ll see if things change. President Dias is really serious. Normally he is a ´´softy´´ but I think we have some general authority and area authority attention on this mission now so he’s really cracking down.

My new companion is Elder Antunes, we were a trio but our other companion (Elder Cipili, a Brazilian living in Utah) went home last week after the first wave of missionaries left. Elder Antunes has one transfer left, and then he goes home. So he is at the end of his mission and he’s pretty tired.  He sleeps a lot and I read a lot - I think I will finish the Book of Mormon this week in Portuguese. With Elder Antunes we don’t work anything like I did with Kozlowski.  Part of that is cultural and part of it personal, I think.  Antunes likes to work with member’s references and Kozlowski really didn’t know how to do that, and you know that I had no clue. So I am learning how to work references with Elder Antunes. That will be good. I like it a lot better than knocking on doors in the heat every day, and he has been getting baptisms so I think it works. We´ll see.

I have been struggling with getting good sleep, still. Sister Dias (wife of the president) gave me some natural herbs that were to help after the zone conference. I have tried them the past few nights but I still wake up 3 or 4 times every single night.  I’m not sure why.



A real quick, a thought for the blog:  I was reading in Ether 9: 2/3 about the brother of Jared when he prayed for help to bring light to the ships. The lord didn’t solve the problem for him, but encouraged the brother of Jared to use his agency, knowledge, and the capacity he had been given by God to do what he could to solve the problem for himself.  In that light, the brother of Jared went and got the stones and made a plan which he presented to God.  He asked God simply to touch the stones so they could give off light. The Lord helped him and fulfilled the plan the brother of Jared had put forth.  “Thus we see” that when we pray for help we have a responsibility to look for ways WE can solve our own problems with our own ability, and then the Lord will help us with the rest.

Love you,
Elder Sork

Monday, March 5, 2018

Mission Upheaval


Hey Mom,

This week was rough and yesterday it got even rougher. The work was going slow; Elder Kozlowski and I have both felt some lack of personal growth and direction from the spirit. Then yesterday night, about 8:00 we were singing in the stake choir and Elder K received a phone call that we were both going to be transferred.  We needed to be at the mission office this morning at 9AM. Lots of changes are happening in the mission. I don’t really know what but I think a lot of people got sent home. This mission is really messed up so we got emergency transferred. I am in a trio in the same stake but Elder K went to someplace I have never heard of.  My new area is called José Americo (something like that, I’m still learning). Last night we were up until 2AM, cleaning our whole house, packing our bags and frantically trying to pass off our investigators and update the area book. It was a rough.  Now I am sleep deprived and with two Brazilian companions  Elder Cipili and Atunes. 



Cinthia who was baptized is preparing to go to the temple already so that’s really cool.  I am sad we had to leave all our investigators.  We had a baptism lined up this week and don’t know what’s gonna happen because we left so fast.

My Portuguese is still so terrible. I just sit and listen and don’t understand anything in conversations. I am always just in the background. This week for fast Sunday I fasted to strengthen my confidence in the Lord, because I feel like a fear-filled missionary. I am scared of failure, scared to talk to people, scared to set goals because I don’t feel I can achieve them. Thank you for your thoughts on overcoming fear and improving my prayer. I studied a little about these things this week.


Please let McKenna know I am proud of her.

Love you.

Elder Sork