Dear Mom,
Missionary work wise I don’t really
have anything to report this week. We didn´t have squat happen, and all our
newly baptized people are already in the past. None of them came to church and
we can’t get in to continue teaching them... they are always conveniently busy.
So that has been a bummer.
This week we had splits, (where multiple companionships in an area split up and go with a different companion for the day) which confirmed to me that not all missionaries are equal... Elder Sousa was my companion for the day. He has been out 6 months and was clearly more obedient and honestly a LOT more helpful then my ´´trainer.” Although there are some things I have learned from Elder Galdino that I could see would help Elder Sousa. I just really hope my next companion is who I need at this time, and truly called through power of revelation, to help me. I think Elder Galdino was a blessing to have during these first few weeks with all of the things that have happened, but I feel ready for something else. I’m not sure what that is; we´ll see what the Lord gives me!
Saturday we had a ward activity, and watched a move about the life of Christ. It MADE ME SAD THAT I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND anything except for simple key words throughout the whole thing, and when I converse with people, so that was a bummer. It was nice to do something as a ward though, and there were lots of people there who, even though I can’t really talk with them, clearly care about me.
Like every previous week, I kept a paper and wrote down
all my unique experiences so i can share them with you. I’ll go ahead and tell you about them now:
Our house has been getting horrible and it has these little geckos running around all over. Today, Elder Galdino slept in until 9;30 so after I had exercised and had breakfast and read some
BoM, I decided to clean the entire house - it was oddly therapeutic. You
would still die if you saw the conditions, but they are a LOT better than they
were before.
A few spooky things this week in honor of Halloween: Here in Brazil Galdino has pointed
out houses - all white with white flags. From what I understand, this is a
sign of some very strange religion practices that are associated with the devil. We
have been sure to steer clear of these! Even more spooky was an experience we
had contacting a less active family this week. We went to their house at the end of a
long narrow alley and it literally has a grave site marked underneath it
where someone was buried. We go talking with some of the family, then the grandma comes out with her face all torn up and scratched and ripped. Apparently
the night before the mom became ´´possessed´´, attacked the grandma, and was
dragged off by the police. Even spookier is that before we ever walked into the
house, Elder Galdino said that in the past he has always felt bad feelings in this
house... I'm not sure what’s true and what is an exaggeration, but either way, it
is crazy stuff!
On a lighter note, a funny experience: We were socializing in the house of Wellyda and got invited to sit around with her drunk parents/aunt& uncle. It was definitely a little weird, but they love trying to talk to me. It’s hard enough understanding things already, but understanding drunk Brazilians is even harder - and there are tons of drunks every weekend, haha. During the conversation the topic of pork came up, the word in Portuguese is very similar, porco, and I assured them I understand what they were saying, but just to make sure, one guy felt the need to get down on all fours and impersonate a pig, with sound effects that rival even Dad’s! Believe me when I say I laughed for quite some time! I couldn’t help myself! There were some other funny moments but that was a highlight.
I had my first interview with President
Dias this week. I know he has love for me and he wants me to stay and be comfortable here in the mission field. Even
though he speaks English I don’t think he is able to completely understand my situation and feelings. After trying to talk to him, his advice was really
just to wait things out. I think he still thinks my major issues are with
grandma’s death, but even though that was so hard it is just one more thing on
top of my struggles out here with the language and my companion situation. But, he suggested just waiting,
that with time things will get better. Dad´s email was similar. I will do my
best to wait things out, and I hope, hope, hope that things will get better. Thank you so much for your
love, support, prayers, and fasting. I know that no matter how hard this is, it
would be impossible without the amazing family I have. I thank my Heavenly Father
every day for you guys.
I finally got letters! I get them
about once every transfer it sounds like. I got a letter from Grandma G that
she wrote and sent while I was still in the CTM. (She sent that letter 2 weeks after Carson had left for Brazil! That is how long it has taken him to get his mail.) That was hard, reading something that was
written back when we all thought her cancer battle was still ´´normal´´. At the end of
the letter, she told me that ´´she would always be my white-haired cheerleader,
cheering me on in my corner´´ and that she loves me ´´always and forever.´´ She
obviously didn’t know the impact these words would have when she wrote it, but
this week this letter just strengthened my belief in the Plan of Salvation. When I read her letter I was so sad and
crying but I didn’t feel despair - I really felt love inside me. I know that
grandma STILL loves me; she will continue to love and support me. I don’t know
all the details or where she is right now or what her ability is to know of my
struggles and experiences after her passing, but I know that she still loves me,
and I believe that death is not the end. The Plan of Salvation truly is a
beautiful plan, and truly is special. I hope to continue to grow in knowledge
and testimony so I can share this hope and love with others in
the future.
This week I had a meal with a member. It tasted great: it was rice, corn and
chicken all mixed up in some sort of cream, but I quickly discovered that they
had definitely used a bit more of the chicken than I was used to... It didn’t
taste bad but I left some choice pieces on my plate... including some tubey
organs that were VERY chewy, and a few bones that looked a lot like
vertebrae... Again, tasted great, and I’m not super sick this week, but I miss
your cooking!
Yesterday they had a special meeting
about preparing for missions for the youth. Sitting in there, they talked a lot
about how to prepare, what you need to be a missionary, and showed a ´´pump
up´´ video with missionaries in the field.
All these things kind of bummed me out because it reminded me how
inadequate I am right now, in faith, testimony, and my ability to connect with
people. But again, time - hopefully with time I can see some growth and improvement.
I am trying to continue in your
advice on prayers, I wake up a bit earlier to make sure I have some time for a
good morning prayer, I will continue to do this. A scripture that stuck out to me
this week with my focus on prayer was 2 Nephi 9:52, a reminder to pray always.
I know that focusing on good prayers morning and night will help me, but it is
important to have Heavenly Father in my heart ALWAYS, and through this I know
that I will be happier. So I am trying to live up to this scripture!
Thank you for your guidance and
support. I love you and hope the family is all doing okay. Make sure people know the mail situation;
honestly I probably won’t really be sending handwritten letters unless for very
special occasions, I just don’t know. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about
you all and appreciate all you are doing to support me.
When you send me all the missionary
updates from friends, could you also include any BIG/IMPORTANT news about home/the
United States? That would also be nice.
I want to know if Trump does anything super crazy.
I
love you, have a good week!
Elder Sork
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