Hey Mom,
The musical number went really well.
Everyone knows me now has the guy who works out AND plays the violin really
well. We had our district presidency member come up to us after with tears in
his eyes, saying he felt the spirit so strong during the number and had a
vision of his parents. He thanked us all. The people I played with were amazing;
it reminded me what I love about playing the violin.
The fire sounds crazy, I hope it
gets under control. That makes me so sad to hear. Chad sent pictures of the Gorge - SO
SO SO sad. Also, I am extremely sad about Grandma Bowen. I will be praying for her and hope whatever
happens it’s as comfortable for her as possible and what she wants, but I´m
gonna miss her and don’t look forward to hearing the bad news.
I haven’t been doing too good over
here, Mom. I'm really struggling. It’s all centered around learning the language. I know you are gonna think
I´m just being hard on myself; that I´m a smart guy and will get it eventually,
but I am REALLY struggling. Mom, I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand
anything in Portuguese still! I can´t even give a simple lesson unless I just
read off of written sentences. It feels
like my brain has a learning disability or something. I study flashcards and read phrases and do so
many things and try to memorize passages but at this point nothing is working.
And, to top it off, everyone keeps talking about the “dom de linguas,” (gift of
tongues). I haven’t seen it yet. I have broken down several times now. I don’t know
how long I can do this.
Every day I wake up and just dread
the day knowing I´m just going to get further and further behind. I always just have a bad attitude now. I really hope I´m able to persevere and become who
I need to be but I´m halfway done with the MTC and still am clueless.
I love you and the family so
much. I miss you all so much. I don’t
want to let you down or myself down, and I just want to be a missionary but
everything about Brazil feels wrong. Right now I feel wasted and feel like I should be in the United States where I know I could be
successful. I´m gonna keep trying but every day is a struggle, please pray for
me Mom.
I know you’re gonna be an awesome
seminary teacher, and everyone in your class is very lucky to have you. I would know! I will continue to study the
Book of Mormon; right now it’s the only thing getting me by because it helps me
forget about my problems. The gospel
makes so much sense. Logically I believe
but I am just really struggling with feeling the spirit and having faith when
it comes to my abilities.
I hope in the next few weeks things
get better and I can tell you how awesome and strengthening an experience this
was, but I´m just afraid it's gonna wear me down. My teacher has been really
patient and has a strong testimony. She is a convert from missionaries. Her
name is Irma Perazolla and she has shared some good scriptures and tried to
share her testimony with me but it’s hard when I can’t
even really understand what she’s saying. My companion Elder Davenport has also
been a big strength, his faith has kept me going and he’s already given me two
blessings. I´m glad I´ve got them and my district is supportive I just hope I
can do this. I want so bad just to be able to preach the gospel. Tomorrow we’re supposed to go
proselyte, teach two investigators, and have TRC and its gonna be a really hard
day for me. Please pray for me.
I love you Mom, let everyone know I love them!
Elder Sork
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