Hey Mom,
I´m a little confused about some stuff, namely the messaging
real time thing... Who told you that was against mission rules? I trust that it
was a reliable source so I will respect that, but I had no idea, and neither
does anyone else in this mission...(Eric
and I were told by Carson’s
mission president and our stake president that missionaries should not be instant messaging with home during their computer time on their preparation days; even though this seems to be a common practice, it is not compliant with mission rules.)
As far as my feelings of frustration out here, I know I am hard on
myself. I know that’s one reason why I have these difficulties. President Dias thinks I am
progressing, but that's a common problem here - EVERYONE thinks I understand
more than I really do. I can write, I can form a couple sentences on the fly,
but during conferences I still don’t understand what my mission president and
his wife are teaching me, or the questions and experiences of our
investigators. I speak with Elder Barrett again on the 15th, maybe he can help me figure it out.
Besides all that, here is this week:
First off, transfers. Elder Kozlowski and I are staying together
here in Parque do Sol one more transfer. I think that after all these phone calls
and things, President was a little scared to transfer me or separate us.
This last week was really tough, this transfer was 7 weeks instead
of 6 and it dragged on. Elder K and I
were both were lacking motivation and energy to do missionary work. But now we
have another 6 weeks here and we gotta kick things into gear. We have some
pesquisadores (investigators) that we
will continue working with, but we have plans to find LOTS of new people.
We baptized Ana this week.
She is the pesquisadore that I talked about being very, VERY humble. I
was really happy to see her baptized. She is so shy and timid but going to church
and making friends, as well as learning more about the gospel, but the gospel
is really changing her. She is more
confident and firm in her beliefs. This woman also has the most patience I have
ever seen. Her children are CRAZY. I have never seen kids act like this. But I
have never seen her yell or hit her kids.
That happens a lot here and so this is something I have been impressed
with. She is an amazing example of patience and love as a mother.
I also bought a bar that you put in the doorframe, and have
been using that to do exercises in the mornings and I can take it with me in my
suitcase when I get transferred. So that´ll be good!! Elder K and I are still
doing exercises every morning. We are
doing our best to stay fit physically as well as spiritually!
Something a little sad - our baptisms of Jef and Gil, those
two men who have been best friends since they were 14, are fighting. It started
out at the gym, because Gils legs were thicker then Jefs, and Jefs arms were
thicker then Gils. This may seem funny, and if I forget about the disastrous
consequences, it is, but they got really heated, screaming at each other in
public and almost had an outright brawl.
Now they have cut all ties to one another. The situation is goofy but it
is really serious and really sad. They were helping each other a lot in their
growth and understanding of the gospel.
They were sharing testimonies, going to church together, studying the scriptures,
and plans to go to the US and live in Salt Lake close to the headquarters of
the church... And now they have cut all ties with each other. They don’t want to go to church because they
will see the other there, etc. They refuse to talk to one another, refuse to
listen to our teachings of forgiveness. We
don’t know what to do, if anyone has any suggestions we´re all ears.
Thought for this week:
I started reading the New Testament in Portuguese. It’s
harder to read than The Book Of Mormon, but I can understand it for the most
part (reading and writing are a lot easier then listening and speaking). As I read Mathew chapter 6 this week I got thinking
about our motives. Right now, and actually
for a while now, I have found myself doing things only because they are
expected of me - making contacts and teaching, testifying, staying out here on
a mission, but because it is expected of me, not because it is really my desire
or I am excited to talk to people who won’t understand me and who I will not
understand. As I read this week it has
sparked a new need to reestablish my motives, why I am here and doing what I am
doing. I need to find that ´´baseline´´ like
you said mom.
This idea from this scripture can be applied to everyone and
especially members of the church. In the scripture Christ talked about how
people would pay offerings, fast, and pray not for the blessings of God, but to
receive glory of man instead. They were doing good things, but not for the
right reasons. Because of this, their motive, they were rejected by God. Why
are we serving a mission? Why do we go to church every Sunday? Why pray, read scriptures, pay fast offerings?
Is it because of who is watching? Maybe it’s because it is expected of us? Or are we really doing it all because we love our
Heavenly Father and trust in His plan? This is just a thought to put things in
perspective and help us isolate our motives and see if we can be better. This really
hit me this week me because a lot of the things I am doing are not for the
right reasons and it is a constant struggle for me to change and really find
´´my motive´´ here. I know what it should be, but am constantly struggling to
really make it true in my life here in Brazil.
Love, Elder Sork
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