Monday, February 5, 2018

What's Your Motive?

Hey Mom,

I´m a little confused about some stuff, namely the messaging real time thing... Who told you that was against mission rules? I trust that it was a reliable source so I will respect that, but I had no idea, and neither does anyone else in this mission...(Eric and I were told by Carson’s mission president and our stake president that missionaries should not be instant messaging with home during their computer time on their preparation days; even though this seems to be a common practice, it is not compliant with mission rules.)

As far as my feelings of frustration out here,  I know I am hard on myself.  I know that’s one reason why I have these difficulties.  President Dias thinks I am progressing, but that's a common problem here - EVERYONE thinks I understand more than I really do. I can write, I can form a couple sentences on the fly, but during conferences I still don’t understand what my mission president and his wife are teaching me, or the questions and experiences of our investigators.  I speak with Elder Barrett again on the 15th, maybe he can help me figure it out.  

Besides all that, here is this week:

First off, transfers.  Elder Kozlowski and I are staying together here in Parque do Sol one more transfer. I think that after all these phone calls and things, President was a little scared to transfer me or separate us.

This last week was really tough, this transfer was 7 weeks instead of 6 and it dragged on.  Elder K and I were both were lacking motivation and energy to do missionary work. But now we have another 6 weeks here and we gotta kick things into gear. We have some pesquisadores (investigators) that we will continue working with, but we have plans to find LOTS of new people. 

We baptized Ana this week.  She is the pesquisadore that I talked about being very, VERY humble. I was really happy to see her baptized. She is so shy and timid but going to church and making friends, as well as learning more about the gospel, but the gospel is really changing her.  She is more confident and firm in her beliefs. This woman also has the most patience I have ever seen. Her children are CRAZY. I have never seen kids act like this. But I have never seen her yell or hit her kids.  That happens a lot here and so this is something I have been impressed with. She is an amazing example of patience and love as a mother.


I also bought a bar that you put in the doorframe, and have been using that to do exercises in the mornings and I can take it with me in my suitcase when I get transferred. So that´ll be good!! Elder K and I are still doing exercises every morning.  We are doing our best to stay fit physically as well as spiritually!

Something a little sad - our baptisms of Jef and Gil, those two men who have been best friends since they were 14, are fighting. It started out at the gym, because Gils legs were thicker then Jefs, and Jefs arms were thicker then Gils. This may seem funny, and if I forget about the disastrous consequences, it is, but they got really heated, screaming at each other in public and almost had an outright brawl.  Now they have cut all ties to one another. The situation is goofy but it is really serious and really sad. They were helping each other a lot in their growth and understanding of the gospel.  They were sharing testimonies, going to church together, studying the scriptures, and plans to go to the US and live in Salt Lake close to the headquarters of the church... And now they have cut all ties with each other.  They don’t want to go to church because they will see the other there, etc. They refuse to talk to one another, refuse to listen to our teachings of forgiveness.  We don’t know what to do, if anyone has any suggestions we´re all ears.

Thought for this week:

I started reading the New Testament in Portuguese. It’s harder to read than The Book Of Mormon, but I can understand it for the most part (reading and writing are a lot easier then listening and speaking).  As I read Mathew chapter 6 this week I got thinking about our motives.  Right now, and actually for a while now, I have found myself doing things only because they are expected of me - making contacts and teaching, testifying, staying out here on a mission, but because it is expected of me, not because it is really my desire or I am excited to talk to people who won’t understand me and who I will not understand.  As I read this week it has sparked a new need to reestablish my motives, why I am here and doing what I am doing.  I need to find that ´´baseline´´ like you said mom.


This idea from this scripture can be applied to everyone and especially members of the church. In the scripture Christ talked about how people would pay offerings, fast, and pray not for the blessings of God, but to receive glory of man instead. They were doing good things, but not for the right reasons. Because of this, their motive, they were rejected by God. Why are we serving a mission? Why do we go to church every Sunday?  Why pray, read scriptures, pay fast offerings? Is it because of who is watching? Maybe it’s because it is expected of us?  Or are we really doing it all because we love our Heavenly Father and trust in His plan? This is just a thought to put things in perspective and help us isolate our motives and see if we can be better.   This really hit me this week me because a lot of the things I am doing are not for the right reasons and it is a constant struggle for me to change and really find ´´my motive´´ here. I know what it should be, but am constantly struggling to really make it true in my life here in Brazil.

                                                                                                                    Love, Elder Sork


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